Waiting. I don’t like it. I have never really been a patient person. Creative? Yes. Ingenuity? I’ve got that. Patience? Not so much. I am a do-er. The quickest way to get something done is to tell me that it can’t be done or that it will take forever. So waiting on a baby in a situation that is utterly beyond my control is nerve wracking (wrecking? either is applicable).
I find myself going back to God multiple times a day and giving this whole adoption thing back to him. “Sorry, God, I know I said I trusted you to take care of this and gave it over to you, but I forgot and took it back again. Here it is again. I know you will take care of it. I trust in your plan which is bigger and better than anything I could think of.” Repeat. My mom says I have “control issues.” I guess she may be right, don’t tell her though. At least I am praying.
It this state of __________ (insert word for: excitement, anxiety, upheaval, tension, and impatience) I find myself making lists. List of items baby needs. List of items I say baby needs but really I want. List of items we already have and no longer need/want. List of items we don’t have. List of people/organizations that I have talked with or need to talk to who might connect us to a birth mother. List of topics to research further. Look at that. I just made a list of lists.
Waiting is hard. But I do find this time very exciting and full of hope. Like something really big is about to happen. I really appreciate all of the prayers and thoughts from all of our friends and family.
-K
I have learned that we don't live by waiting to live and be happy. Give it to God and trust in His plan, then live your life like it is your only one...which, by the way, it is. This life is meant to be a learning time to prepare us for Heaven. Learning to be patient is one of the lessons. Keep making your lists, but make lists of your blessings while you are at it. You are an adopted Child of the King. He made you, He redeemed you with the blood of His only Son, and He knows the desires of your heart. Like any good parent, He wants you to be happy and He does have a plan.
ReplyDeleteBe excited and happy, dance and sing, pray and dream, but try to be patient.
Enjoy each minute of this time because this is the time of your life.