After a wonderful lunch, thanks to the OG*, and an extremely pleasant walk around the neighborhood I settled in to continue my reading of You Can Adopt: An Adoptive Families Guide. Soon my wonderful husband came in carrying not a comic book, not a script book, and not a book about Doctor Who, but Successful Adoption: A Guide For Christian Families. It is so wonderful to have such a wonderful husband going through this with me and invested in this as much as I am.
I vacillate between excitement and fear as we approach this process:
We have our Dear-Birth-Mother letter done and I will share it with my girlfriends for editing and proof reading tomorrow. One fear is, are we including the right information. Do we need to include less or more or something different all together? Do we really want to be this vulnerable and put ourselves out there like this? We've got nothing but positive feedback from friends and family. And I feel a peace as I think about our future child not necessarily coming from my womb. I am okay with that. But what if? . . .there are a lot of what ifs.
My excitement comes from the thought that our baby may be out there waiting for us or baking in some birth-mother's tummy RIGHT NOW and it is just a matter of making the right connection. I picked up a pack of diapers yesterday, they were on sale, just in case. Don't judge. They won't go bad. I keep saying that to myself.
This is how my mind works. Must keep busy with projects, work, and enjoying my blessed life right now. Praise God I have such a wonderful husband who is helping me work through that stack of books and puts up with my kind of crazy.