Wednesday, August 8, 2012

False Alarm

It's amazing how quickly you can plummet from the highest peak to the lowest valley.  The short version of the story is:  We were misinformed.

The longer version is:  We were told the boys were coming to our home.  We were given their Social Security cards and their medical histories.  We were told the boys were coming to our home.  We told the foster care people that we were taking time off to help the boys acclimate to their new home, because it was our intent to adopt these boys.  We were told that was a great idea.  Once we felt assured that the boys were coming, we announced it to all our friends and family.  Kelly had the major insurance company she works for rearrange her entire workload to make up for the fact that she wouldn't be there for a month.  We were told the boys were coming to our home.  At roughly 2pm, the coordinator told us she was going to go see and pick up the boys at 4:15 and then brought to our home.  We were told the boys were coming to our home.

At 6:30, when we hadn't heard anything, we texted our coordinator to see what was going on.  What was going on, it seems, is that the boys weren't coming to our home.  They were staying with the foster family they are currently with.  We were a back-up plan -- a Plan B.  The foster care coordinators had thought the family the boys were with were going to quit being foster parents.  When they heard this, they contacted us to see if were interested.

The thing of it is, we were never told we were a Plan B.  During all of our conversations, the only vagueness that was conveyed to us was at what time the boys would be coming to our home.

So . . . I'm sorry.  False Alarm.


  1. Oh my wow. :( That is so terribly sad. I'm so so sorry.

  2. Terribly frustrating. And sad for everyone. Life is not fair.Continuing to pray and uplift your family. Hugs and love, Ash

  3. My dear friends, I am so sorry about this. I love you and will continue rooting for you, praying for you, and getting excited for you--every time.

  4. :-( I'm so sorry. I'll be praying that your baby (or babies) gets to come home soon.

  5. That is TERRIBLE! I was doing cartwheels (in my head) for you guys. That person should be FIRED for not informing you of the Plan B status. How incredibly cruel and irresponsible. Just be sure that God has a plan and I know that He already has the perfect child (or children) chosen for you both. Ah! I am so frustrated for you.

    1. @ Joey,it is so important for the person to give ALL the information to a possible foster parent and to always keep in mind these situations are always wrapped around heavy emotions and not intentionally or unintentionally cause such distress. Ideally, the family should be told that until the child is literally in your arms,remember a placement possibility may change several times before a more concrete decision is made.

  6. I remember the first time you shared with us the decision to adopt. I remember thinking how proud of you both, how in awe of you both, how happy for you both. Your bravery to take this step amazes me.

    I too am angered and disappointed by this miscommunication...this manipulation. It hurts. It is very frustrating.

    But I know that God has something in store that is going to be GREAT! I know that God has prepared you for the kids that need you the most. And God knows what's around the next corner.

    We're praying for those kids right now. We're praying for their protection, and the guidance of the coordinators to get them to you. And we're praying for you too. May God's grace be with your home as you wait to fill and stretch it with the love you both are dying to give!

    We love you Scott/Kelly. God has a plan! May it become easier and easier to wait and watch that plan unfold!

    -Tom & Steph