Thursday, July 21, 2011

Russell Brand's Back Alley Connections

So Wednesday night found Kelly and I at Russell Brand and Katy Perry's summer getaway cottage overlooking beautiful Gatlinburg (I know, I was surprised too). We knocked on the door and Russell Brand himself swung the door open.

"Scott! Kelly!" He cheered. "Welcome to our humble summertime abode! Katy's not here right now, she'll join us after the tour. But I'm here! We can still have a bit of fun, yeah? You're here, life can still be a party!"

Kelly and I laughed and he showed us to our room. "Why don't you two relax, I'll go downstairs and get the cookin' on."

Russell disappeared and Kelly went to take a shower. I laid down for a quick nap . . . and when I woke back up, Kelly was sitting at the foot of the bed, holding a chubby little baby. Russell Brand was standing behind her. They were both grinning excitedly.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's your baby!" Russell Brand answered.

"It can't be." I shook my head.

"Of course it can!" Russell Brand yelled back at me, almost sounding offended. "Don't you want it?"

"Of course I do," I said. "But . . . where did it come from?"

"Scott!" Russell rolled his eyes. "You ask too many questions!"

It was then I realized why Kelly had insisted we visited Russell and Katy. She knew Russell had some dark, back alley connections. She knew he could find us a baby. The baby was cooing now, playing with Kelly's hair. He was adorable, with his shock of orange hair and . . . vaguely . . . purple skin.

"Is his skin purple?" I asked.

"Again with the questions!" Russell threw his hands in the air. "Scott! You're a father now! You can't go spending your time pointing out how different and strange and weird your son is! You say 'purple' as if it's pejorative! You're a family now! You have a baby! What do you possibly have to complain about?!"

And then I woke up.

I was sad. Despite the baby being purple, I really thought I could have given it a good home.


  1. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, ROFLMAO. This was so funny that I could hardly breath. Aren't dreams just the weirdest way that your mind has of telling you that you really are ready to parent a child ....regardless! Regardless of purple skin and orange hair, we will give it a good home. So precious. You two will make great parents, regardless of how you get there. I love you both.

  2. Perhaps it could be God showing you the joys of a child with unique needs. Frequently, these are babies NO ONE WANTS. My daughter has several friends who have recently adopted special needs children from orphanages in Europe/Asia.

    Please know that I follow your blog with a hole in my heart. . . and a prayer in my spirit that God will bring the perfect child into your heart and home!!

  3. Thank-you Sharon. We really appreciate that.

    We've often talked about special needs children. It obviously makes us a little nervous to think about the extra care/time/attention they would need but as we search for our little one, we considering all options and would not say "no" to a child just because they have more special needs.